Fok the gym

Pre-Workout Meal:

I eat the steak and over-easy eggs along with the rice and beans pre-workout, and I wash it down with Diet Coke.


Intra-workout:

I only eat the steak and eggs while I'm working out.  Meats and eggs have a very low insulinogenic effect which is good because you don't want to sugar crash while you workout because it will weaken your lifts and hence you won't get strong.

As you can see, I only have a limited amount of steak so I try and pace my eating, so I can have some for all three phases of workout supplementation:  pre-, intra-, and post-workout.

Workout Equipment:

This is my deadlift station.  The big rebar loop hanging out of the concrete block is good for single- and double-handed isometric rack pulls. Unfortunately there's no way to gauge if I'm getting stronger with isometric movements, but I can swear I feel that rebar giving way like I'm bending it upwards.

The smaller rebar loop on the bottom makes for a nice Ass-to-Grass single- or double-handed isometric deadlift.  I try to get my center of gravity over that loop, sink either one or both shoulders way back like I'm stuffing my hand or hands in my backpockets, and activate my glutes and calves and try to bend that rebar upwards.

Dip station:

Put either hand on one side and the other goes on the other side.  Dip in between the concrete blocks.


Lat Station:

Wrap one or both hands around that angled pole and then plant both feet on the edge of that sheet metal base, use your torso and legs as dead weight to provide some resistance, and shred your lats and biceps until they burn like battery acid.


Pullup station:

Wrap both hands on top of that horizontal piece of steel and you got your pull up bar.












Some notable mentions:

I use that curb in the first picture for uneven pushups.  They serve as a progression to eventual one hand pushups.  

The other pictures just show some gripping points that I could contract large muscle groups with isometric deadlift pulls.  

Pistol Squat station:

Steady yourself by latching the hand closest to your leg you're trying to pistol squat with.  Then slide the hand down the pole as you lower your body to the ground.

Hand protection:

I don't want to mangle my hands so I wear these gloves.

F*ck the protein shake

All protein powders are crap.  They make me crap.  Who knows what all they put in that crap.

There’s no FDA regulation of any supplement company here in America, so the protein powder making companies can put any goddamn thing they damn well please.  They lace their supplements with oral steroids.  They cut the protein with cheaper protein powders to make you think you’re getting a better protein bang for your buck.  All in all, I hate those bastards with a passion.

What’s the solution you ask?

Just handle it like you would any other good for nothing bitch you have the unfortunate chance of meeting in your life:  kick that piece of garbage to the curb and replace it with something better.

What’s better than the supposed almighty protein shake that all those shills on youtube constantly bombard you with on a daily basis you ask?

How about the real thing smartguy is my answer to you.

What’s real protein you ask?

Real protein is beef, chicken, fish.  

You see, I haven’t been going to the gym like I like to so I do ghetto workouts in the middle of a parking lot that has a chainlink fence, cars, a couple poles with street signs attached to them.  I mostly concentrate on bodyweight exercises except when I’m trying to deadlift a car.  I got these heavy duty gloves from Walmart and I wrap them around the fence poles and concrete rebar in this parking lot, and I yank on them and do pushups and dips on them to get my workout.

Another thing I do while I’m working out is eat my pre-workout meal of steak and eggs, rice and beans.  Then while I’m working out I continue eating my steak and eggs but forgo the rice and beans.  You only need the steak and eggs to provide the body glucose without a severe insulinogenic response.  

Notice one thing.  I’m not drinking protein shake crap.  I’m eating dead cow flesh while I’m working out.  And honestly I can’t tell the difference between protein shake and steak as an intra-workout supplement.  I shove the steak in my mouth after busting out pushups and my body has no problem using that steak to repair muscles and tendons and ligaments and provide a source of glucose for energy reserve replenishment.  

So yeah, “f” the protein shakes.  “F” the protein powder making companies.  “F” those lying bastards on youtube prostituting themselves out like whores to the protein powder making companies.

Is steak more expensive than that sewer water protein shake you ask?

You bet your sweet bippy it is.  But I’ll take savory good tasting cow carcass over that crap that they shove in those tubs and market that nasty sh*t as something healthy that’s going to give you those most sought after gains.

You could always try tuna from a can or a bag of chicken for your intra-workout protein source.  They might possibly be cheaper.  

Bench press alternate accessory movement

There is no question you need to mix up your movements to avoid repetitive movement injury.  The problem is finding the right accessory movements that will have carryover to your bench press that will lead to making strength gains in your chest press.

I was experimenting with dips in my last workout sessions, and I was noticing definite progress and increase in my bench press strength.

The way I would do dips is I would get on the dip machine at the gym and go all the way down with elbows bent at a severely sharp angle with my forearms hinging at the elbow and not stopping until I hit the the bicep with my forearms and then I would push myself up.

The use of the above machine allows you to acquire that severe acute angle in your elbow joint which is necessary to mock the angle joint your elbows take on while bench pressing.  That's the movement that needs to be accomplished if you expect strength gain carryover to the bench press.

If you want to add more resistance to the exercise once you master a severe bent angle elbow position dips with both hands, switch to a one handed dip.  You can accomplish this because the knee pad on the machine will support your weight.

After you master the one arm dip, experiment with added resistance provided by a weight belt.







If you don't have access to a dip machine, then recruit somebody to hold your ankles and tell them to raise you while you're pushing up.

Appetite Control post workout

If you're aiming for an aesthetic look for your body, you have to severely curtail and measure calorie intake.

Probably the worst times for disciplining yourself not to eat is right after the workout.  Your body is craving glycogen and to a smaller extent, protein.

How do you satisfy that hunger?

Eat. Simple.


But what if you don't want to eat because you're trying to maintain a lean body?

The solution is simple.  Take the fish oil multivitamin cocktail of pills that I recommended in my previous posts.


So right after you workout, eat approximately 100 grams of fast absorbing sucrose in the form of candies so you can mainline glycogen to your liver and replenish its glycogen stores.

About an hour later, you'll feel hungry again.  Now take the fish oil multivitamin cocktail:  four 1000 mg fish oil pills and one multivitamin.

If you feel hungry again after this concentrate on eating salads without any carbohydrate or protein and a maybe a hint of salad dressing to satisfy any cravings for fats.

If you follow my advice for drinking a protein shake during a workout, then you shouldn't need to eat any protein until the next day because the protein in the shake should more than compensate for your protein needs for building muscle.  Although the next day you're definitely going to have to consume red meat and chicken and keeping consuming them for the next 48 hours to build and repair muscle fibers.


After 48 hours post workout, your body is probably in a positive nitrogen balance because of all the protein you have been eating, so slack off on the protein and consume more carbohydrates, fiber and fats and supplement as need to stave off hunger with the fish oil multivitamin cocktail as a meal replacement.

When you choose to skip a meal and replace with fish oil is up to you.

Skipping dinner is probably easiest because all you have to do is sleep afterwards.

Forgoing lunch is probably the hardest because you have to fast and survive on the 80 calories supplied via the fish oil pills for a solid twelve hours between breakfast and dinner.  I usually take an afternoon nap when I opt for this method because of the enervation I endure while I'm fasting.

You can't always get what you want, but sometimes you find you get what you need

A little raccoon climbed on top of my roof and took a crap.

From that minute action, life has given me a second chance.

I don't know why he left his turds up there.  The cynic in me says he did it because he's a dumb animal and he could give a damn where he leaves his droppings.

The optimist dreamer in me says that because I held this blog for ransom, somehow the universe listened upon my cries for help and decided to give it to me.

So I have decided to release my strength training without steroids back onto the internet.  Whether it gives you any help or seriously injures your body is up for you to decide.

The lazy man's way to lose weight part two

Our bodies are anachronisms.  We as humans popped onto the scene about 50,000 years ago, and 50,000 years later we still got the same bodies.  If macro-evolution were true,  we should at least have wings or at least an extra eyeball on the back of our head so no one can sucker punch us.  But we got nothing, zilch, nada.

The reason I bring this up is I'm trying to lose fat because I have too much of it.   But since my body is still stuck in the time when I would have to go out and run around a forest to catch my dinner, and the reality of my present situation has a meal as convenient as going through a drive-thru window, I have a bad habit of overeating and gaining body fat.  

My remedy for my obesity is to basically starve myself.  In the morning I eat breakfast. Four hours later for lunch I swallow three fish oil pills and one multivitamin.  Then I wait until six or seven or eight p.m. to eat dinner. So if you were to deconstruct my plan of action it could be thought of and desimplified as two meals separated by two fasts.

My logic is my breakfast will carry me to at least 10 am or maybe later. Then when I feel hungry I take my (4) 1200 gram fish oil pills and (1) multivitamin and that will hopefully curb any hunger pains I may experience and carry me to dinner. 

The fish oil pills are quite a useful weight loss aid.  Try this as an experiment:  drop one fish oil pill into a glass of water and watch it as it expands to three or four times its original size. 

That's also the action that takes place in your stomach.  The fish oil pills expand and provide a feeling of fullness which staves off hunger. 

The fish oil pills also don't raise blood insulin levels which in turn increases blood glucagon levels.  You want to maintain that low insulin blood level because that's the on/off switch for your body to feel hungry.  If you keep your insulin level low, you will not feel hungry for at least three to five hours.

The fish oil pills work because there's no carbohydrate in them, so they have no insulinogenic response in the body's bloodstream.

 Fish oil also works because they have a slight thermogenic effect on the body as well. When I say "slight", the effect is only one or two degrees difference in body temperature. You want the temperature rise because that means your body is expending energy, i.e. burning calories, to make your body warm.  So you're sitting there doing nothing while you're burning calories -- the perfect scenario for a person who hates getting on the treadmill at a gym and running like a gerbil for a fifty dollars a month or even higher gym membership.

You can experiment with the timing of the fish oil pill cocktail ingestion.   You could as I did last night, eat breakfast and lunch and then when you feel hungry for dinner take your fish oil pills but it does make your sleep at night somewhat uncomfortable because you're extending the fast to at least sixteen hours assuming you take lunch at 2 pm and eat breakfast at 6 am the next day.  It could even be longer between meals depending on when you time your lunch and breakfast for the next day.

That's why I keep it at twelve hours between breakfast and dinner.   The fasting times are shorter and I sleep better at night with a full stomach when I eat a big dinner.

Now that I've been doing the fish oil pills for a couple weeks my body is getting used to the fasts and occasionally I skip the fish oil and wait until dinner.



Your enemy:  the scale


The weight scale is not your friend when trying to lose weight. Scooby of YouTube fitness fame did a video on digital scale inaccuracies.  He took his weight on a digital scale at different times of the day, and at each interval the scale read something different.   You see how the scale plays tricks on you.

Also a scale won't tell if you're losing fat or muscle or water.  Most of the time you'll be losing water weight. The only problem is the volume of water your body holds at any given time vacillates erratically throughout the day. The more accurate method of weighing yourself if you must absolutely do it and ignore my advice is to let a couple months pass between body weight measurements.

The only true way to gauge your weight loss is to go by how your clothes feel on your body.  If tight fitting pants a month ago now hang loose around your hips, you've probably lost abdominal fat -- the crap you want to get rid of. If you couldn't bend over and tie your shoe a month ago and now you can, guess what? That's right you've probably again lost abdominal fat.  That's how you gauge fat loss. Ditch the scale.

The lazy man's way to lose weight

I'm on a diet. Before I tell you what kind of diet I'm on,  we have to define the word diet.

Diet is basically being in a caloric deficit.  Any caloric intake which is  below your basal metabolic rate will put you in a caloric deficit.

My baseline calorie intake requirement for a 24 hour period according to an online calorie bmr calculator is around 2200 calories. This means anything below 2200 calories for my daily caloric intake at my present weight will produce weight loss which is the main goal of any diet.  Sounds simple right?

The problem is your body doesn't live off convoluted caloric deficit bmr calculators. Rather, the body is a  closed loop system that operates off of specific hormonal sensors. If you eat carbohydrates, it will be released into your blood stream as glucose which will trigger an insulin response.  Then the glucose will either be stored as glycogen in the muscles or as fat in the body's fat deposits.

Your basic goal in weight loss is to hack that insulinogenic response of the body.  Obviously you want to take in less calories if you want to lose weight but if you cut your calories without addressing the hormonal response of your body when you eat food you will fail miserably at your weight loss goals.

Now I'm going to give you the solution or the "hack" that should be applied for your weight loss, and it is fish oil pills. The cost is about ten dollars for around five hundred tablets at your local grocery store.

The way you implement them into your diet is by doing this. First when you wake up in the morning, eat your breakfast. You want to include protein for cell regeneration, carbohydrate for sugar supply to the brain, and fat for satiety.

Next step.  Now wait for four or five or three hours until you get so hungry you can't ignore it.

Third step. Take (3) or (4) 1000-1200 mg pills of fish oil and one broad spectrum multivitamin that contains all soluble and insoluble vitamins and minerals necessary for basic bodily function

This step is your key to weight loss.  Each fish oil pill is around twenty calories and each multivitamin is approximately five calories.  This means you're going to survive on sixty-five calories for the next five or four or six hours or however many hours until you're hungry again for dinner.   The fish oil pills basically shut down the hunger response created by certain hormones like leptin and glucagon.

Now you're probably crying like a little bitch because you can't stuff your face like you usually do at lunch.  It requires a lot of discipline to not eat for the ten or so hours between your breakfast and dinner.  You'll probably be lethargic and weak when you first start out but eventually your body gets used to an essential part of any diet -- the fast.

The fast is not only about not eating but it's also about teaching your body to function without caloric intake. The fast is also about teaching your body to use your stored reserves of fat for energy.

If you've experimented with ketogenic diets, you probably know that it is possible to live off of ketones which are derived from fat cells.  The ketones then enter the Krebs cycle whereby ATP is created to feed body cells.

That's the basic step in your weight loss -- to fast enough times and for an extended amount of time to force your body to use the fat that's stored on your body.


There are certain complications with fish oil pills. Some people have adverse dietary reactions to them.   In that case you may want to use flaxseed oil pills.