The lazy man's way to lose weight part two

Our bodies are anachronisms.  We as humans popped onto the scene about 50,000 years ago, and 50,000 years later we still got the same bodies.  If macro-evolution were true,  we should at least have wings or at least an extra eyeball on the back of our head so no one can sucker punch us.  But we got nothing, zilch, nada.

The reason I bring this up is I'm trying to lose fat because I have too much of it.   But since my body is still stuck in the time when I would have to go out and run around a forest to catch my dinner, and the reality of my present situation has a meal as convenient as going through a drive-thru window, I have a bad habit of overeating and gaining body fat.  

My remedy for my obesity is to basically starve myself.  In the morning I eat breakfast. Four hours later for lunch I swallow three fish oil pills and one multivitamin.  Then I wait until six or seven or eight p.m. to eat dinner. So if you were to deconstruct my plan of action it could be thought of and desimplified as two meals separated by two fasts.

My logic is my breakfast will carry me to at least 10 am or maybe later. Then when I feel hungry I take my (4) 1200 gram fish oil pills and (1) multivitamin and that will hopefully curb any hunger pains I may experience and carry me to dinner. 

The fish oil pills are quite a useful weight loss aid.  Try this as an experiment:  drop one fish oil pill into a glass of water and watch it as it expands to three or four times its original size. 

That's also the action that takes place in your stomach.  The fish oil pills expand and provide a feeling of fullness which staves off hunger. 

The fish oil pills also don't raise blood insulin levels which in turn increases blood glucagon levels.  You want to maintain that low insulin blood level because that's the on/off switch for your body to feel hungry.  If you keep your insulin level low, you will not feel hungry for at least three to five hours.

The fish oil pills work because there's no carbohydrate in them, so they have no insulinogenic response in the body's bloodstream.

 Fish oil also works because they have a slight thermogenic effect on the body as well. When I say "slight", the effect is only one or two degrees difference in body temperature. You want the temperature rise because that means your body is expending energy, i.e. burning calories, to make your body warm.  So you're sitting there doing nothing while you're burning calories -- the perfect scenario for a person who hates getting on the treadmill at a gym and running like a gerbil for a fifty dollars a month or even higher gym membership.

You can experiment with the timing of the fish oil pill cocktail ingestion.   You could as I did last night, eat breakfast and lunch and then when you feel hungry for dinner take your fish oil pills but it does make your sleep at night somewhat uncomfortable because you're extending the fast to at least sixteen hours assuming you take lunch at 2 pm and eat breakfast at 6 am the next day.  It could even be longer between meals depending on when you time your lunch and breakfast for the next day.

That's why I keep it at twelve hours between breakfast and dinner.   The fasting times are shorter and I sleep better at night with a full stomach when I eat a big dinner.

Now that I've been doing the fish oil pills for a couple weeks my body is getting used to the fasts and occasionally I skip the fish oil and wait until dinner.



Your enemy:  the scale


The weight scale is not your friend when trying to lose weight. Scooby of YouTube fitness fame did a video on digital scale inaccuracies.  He took his weight on a digital scale at different times of the day, and at each interval the scale read something different.   You see how the scale plays tricks on you.

Also a scale won't tell if you're losing fat or muscle or water.  Most of the time you'll be losing water weight. The only problem is the volume of water your body holds at any given time vacillates erratically throughout the day. The more accurate method of weighing yourself if you must absolutely do it and ignore my advice is to let a couple months pass between body weight measurements.

The only true way to gauge your weight loss is to go by how your clothes feel on your body.  If tight fitting pants a month ago now hang loose around your hips, you've probably lost abdominal fat -- the crap you want to get rid of. If you couldn't bend over and tie your shoe a month ago and now you can, guess what? That's right you've probably again lost abdominal fat.  That's how you gauge fat loss. Ditch the scale.

The lazy man's way to lose weight

I'm on a diet. Before I tell you what kind of diet I'm on,  we have to define the word diet.

Diet is basically being in a caloric deficit.  Any caloric intake which is  below your basal metabolic rate will put you in a caloric deficit.

My baseline calorie intake requirement for a 24 hour period according to an online calorie bmr calculator is around 2200 calories. This means anything below 2200 calories for my daily caloric intake at my present weight will produce weight loss which is the main goal of any diet.  Sounds simple right?

The problem is your body doesn't live off convoluted caloric deficit bmr calculators. Rather, the body is a  closed loop system that operates off of specific hormonal sensors. If you eat carbohydrates, it will be released into your blood stream as glucose which will trigger an insulin response.  Then the glucose will either be stored as glycogen in the muscles or as fat in the body's fat deposits.

Your basic goal in weight loss is to hack that insulinogenic response of the body.  Obviously you want to take in less calories if you want to lose weight but if you cut your calories without addressing the hormonal response of your body when you eat food you will fail miserably at your weight loss goals.

Now I'm going to give you the solution or the "hack" that should be applied for your weight loss, and it is fish oil pills. The cost is about ten dollars for around five hundred tablets at your local grocery store.

The way you implement them into your diet is by doing this. First when you wake up in the morning, eat your breakfast. You want to include protein for cell regeneration, carbohydrate for sugar supply to the brain, and fat for satiety.

Next step.  Now wait for four or five or three hours until you get so hungry you can't ignore it.

Third step. Take (3) or (4) 1000-1200 mg pills of fish oil and one broad spectrum multivitamin that contains all soluble and insoluble vitamins and minerals necessary for basic bodily function

This step is your key to weight loss.  Each fish oil pill is around twenty calories and each multivitamin is approximately five calories.  This means you're going to survive on sixty-five calories for the next five or four or six hours or however many hours until you're hungry again for dinner.   The fish oil pills basically shut down the hunger response created by certain hormones like leptin and glucagon.

Now you're probably crying like a little bitch because you can't stuff your face like you usually do at lunch.  It requires a lot of discipline to not eat for the ten or so hours between your breakfast and dinner.  You'll probably be lethargic and weak when you first start out but eventually your body gets used to an essential part of any diet -- the fast.

The fast is not only about not eating but it's also about teaching your body to function without caloric intake. The fast is also about teaching your body to use your stored reserves of fat for energy.

If you've experimented with ketogenic diets, you probably know that it is possible to live off of ketones which are derived from fat cells.  The ketones then enter the Krebs cycle whereby ATP is created to feed body cells.

That's the basic step in your weight loss -- to fast enough times and for an extended amount of time to force your body to use the fat that's stored on your body.


There are certain complications with fish oil pills. Some people have adverse dietary reactions to them.   In that case you may want to use flaxseed oil pills.

Progress Report: Back to making gains

All weights are in standard American pounds

9/4/2016 03:18 PM - 8:00 PM
One hand bench press Smith machine 
Left 90-.1, 110-0, 90-0
Right 90-.2, 110-0, 90-.1

Stiff legged deadlift mixed grip
435-0, 415-.1, 435-0

Rack pull mixed grip 
505-0, 455-.1, 505-.1, 525-0

High bar back Squat wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 315-0, 335-.1

Precor cable machine triceps pushdown rope attachment 150-.3, 170-0


Precor Cable machine standing hammer  bicep curl rope attachment 
200-.6

Precor pec fly machine 240-.5


Precor Seated leg press 
40-rep until muscle failure 

8/27/2016 11:50 AM - 6 PM
Bench press 195-.2, 195-.1, 215-0

Conventional deadlift 365-.2, 415-0, 435-0

Romanian deadlift 235-0

Standing shoulder press 245-.1, 290-0

Seated cable row Precor machine
 250-.3

Precor Seated leg press wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 330-0, 330-0

Precor dip assist machine 50-.1

8/12/2016 12:51 PM - 6 pm

High bar back Squat wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 275-.9, 295-.2, 295-0, 315-0

Precor one legged leg press wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 
Right 40-1,  80-0, 60-.1, 80-0
Left  40-1, 80-0 ,  60-.1, 80-0


Rack pull 505-0, 525-0

Smith machine one arm bench press 
Left 90-0, 110-0, 120-0
Right  90-.1, 110-0, 120-0

Stiff legged deadlift  415-0, 415-0


Precor cable machine triceps pushdown rope attachment 150-.1

Precor Cable machine standing hammer  bicep curl rope attachment 200-.5

Precor pec fly machine 240-.2


Precor Seated leg press 40-rep until muscle failure 

I use a rating system to document my lifts.   One full with good enough form repetition counts as “1”. Two quality reps with decent form count as “2”.  

Any number  with a decimal point in front of it represents a partial rep or a miss.

A “.9” represents a rep with not very good form but I still completed it.  A  “.4” means I got the weight almost half way up.  A “.3” represents the  bar traveled far less than half way.  And “.1” means I barely cleared the  weight from whatever it was resting on or I barely came out of the hole with it or I slightly budged it off my chest. A “0” means no movement of the weight just force being applied to it but it stays stationary -- essentially turning it into an isometric movement. Any number I failed to mention, just remember a “1” is a complete rep and a “0” is isometric.


Notes:

I'm finally starting to see movement in my plateaus.  The reason for that is I changed my intra-workout protein shake back to whey protein from beef protein isolate. The whey protein is a less potent protein source than the beef protein so my weak bitch digestive system crapped my guts out less severely on the whey than with the beef.


The beef protein isolate caused me to have explosive diarrhea for approximately forty-eight hours after every workout. This screwed up my forty-eight hour window to synthesize muscle because even the smallest amount of ingested animal protein would wind up being flushed down the toilet. 

I'm also experiencing severe bicep tendonitis at the insertion point on the other side of the elbow in one of my arms. I didn't experience any pain until one day when I was pounding my girlfriend's vagina on the couch and I was using my right arm to prop my upper body up.  The next day I started to experience the tendonitis. Then when I went to the gym and I trained deadlifts and variations of it with a mixed grip, that only exacerbated the pain in my bicep tendon.  

My solution will be to alternate between mixed grip one week and the next week use a double overhand grip coupled with lifting straps.  My theory is that overuse of the mixed grip is causing my pain because there is a severe amount of twisting that is applied to the arms when using mixed grip on deadlifts. The weakest part of the chain that starts at the hand and ends at the shoulder is the elbow area.  To lessen the torque at the elbow, the use of straps combined with a double overhand grip will put the arm in a straighter more perpendicular position relative to the barbell which should lessen the elbow torque and thus remedy my bicep tendonitis.

Lastly I'd like to comment on the Pec fly machine. As you'll notice above I moved 240 lbs on the Pec fly machine. But I know for sure if I were to put a 120 lb dumbell in each of my hands and laid my back on a flat bench and attempted a pec fly, both of arms would rip out at the shoulder socket.  

The pec fly machine is a deceptive strengthening tool because it is operated by pulleys, and all that extra machinery allows you to lift exponentially more than you can using actual weights.  So don't take my pec machine records too seriously.

Progress Report: A life of mediocrity

Here's my weak bitch records:

8/12/2016 12:51 PM 8/12/2016 12:51 PM - 6:00 pm

High bar back Squat wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 275-.9, 295-.2, 295-0, 315-0

Precor one-legged leg press wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 

Right 40-1,  80-0, 60-.1, 80-0

Left  40-1, 80-0 ,  60-.1, 80-0

Rack pull 505-0, 525-0

Smith machine one arm bench press 

Left 90-0, 110-0, 120-0

Right  90-.1, 110-0, 120-0

Stiff legged deadlift  415-0, 415-0

Precor cable machine triceps pushdown rope attachment 150-.1

Precor Cable machine standing hammer  bicep curl rope attachment 200-.5

Precor pec fly machine 240-.2

Precor Seated leg press 40-rep until muscle failure 

High bar back Squat wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 275-.9, 295-.2, 295-0, 315-0

Precor one legged leg press wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 

Right 40-1,  80-0, 60-.1, 80-0

Left  40-1, 80-0 ,  60-.1, 80-0

Rack pull 505-0, 525-0

Smith machine one arm bench press 

Left 90-0, 110-0, 120-0

Right  90-.1, 110-0, 120-0

Stiff legged deadlift  415-0, 415-0

Precor cable machine triceps pushdown rope attachment 150-.1

Precor Cable machine standing hammer  bicep curl rope attachment 200-.5

Precor pec fly machine 240-.2

Precor Seated leg press 40-rep until muscle failure 

8/12/2016 12:51 PM

High bar back Squat wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 275-.9, 295-.2, 295-0, 315-0

Precor one legged leg press wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves

Right 40-1,  80-0, 60-.1, 80-0

Left  40-1, 80-0 ,  60-.1, 80-0

Rack pull 505-0, 525-0

Smith machine one arm bench press

Left 90-0, 110-0, 120-0

Right  90-.1, 110-0, 120-0

Stiff legged deadlift  415-0, 415-0

Precor cable machine triceps pushdown rope attachment 150-.1

Precor Cable machine standing hammer  bicep curl rope attachment 200-.5

Precor pec fly machine 240-.2

Precor Seated leg press 40-rep until muscle failure 

8/6/2016 11:25 AM-04:33 PM 

Conventional deadlift 365-.3,  435-0, 415-0,

Romanian deadlift 235-0, 205-1, 215-0

Bench Press  185-1, 215-0, 195-.1, 205-.1, 235-0

Standing shoulder press 195-.1, 245-.1

Precor Seated row machine 250-.2

Precor Seated leg press 330-

Precor dip assist machine 50-0

7/29/2016 01:59 PM 

Smith machine one arm bench press 

Left 90-0, 90-0

Right  90-0, 90-0

Stiff legged deadlift  385-.1, 405-0

High bar back Squat wearing strongman inzer knee sleeves 295-.2, 275-.9

Rack pull 515-0, 515-0

Precor cable machine triceps pushdown rope attachment 120-.2, 140-.1

Precor Cable machine standing hammer  bicep curl rope attachment 200-.3

Precor pec fly machine 240-.1, 240-.1

Romanian deadlift 55-15

I use a rating system to document my lifts.   One full with good enough form repetition counts as “1”. Two quality reps with decent form count as “2”.  

Any number  with a decimal point in front of it represents a partial rep or a miss.

A “.9” represents a rep with not very good form but I still completed it.  A  “.4” means I got the weight almost half way up.  A “.3” represents the  bar traveled far less than half way.  And “.1” means I barely cleared the  weight from whatever it was resting on or I barely came out of the hole with it or I slightly budged it off my chest. A “0” means no movement of the weight just force being applied to it but it stays stationary -- essentially turning it into an isometric movement. Any number I failed to mention, just remember a “1” is a complete rep and a “0” is isometric.

Summary and Conclusions:

My conclusion is I'm a weak bitch.  

Now I'm gonna play the blame game here because that's what I do:  I blame others for my problems and I use that as a cop out to justify my own failures.  And let's face it, I shouldn't even be writing a blog on strength training if I'm not making serious strength gains.  

So here's my reason for my failure to gain strength in my mind:

Ingesting this product for an intra-workout protein shake is the first reason I haven't been making gains.  

Here's the second reason:

Once I finished with the Muscle Meds Carnivor, I switched to Truenutrition beef protein for an intra-workout protein shake.

The difference between the two products is neglible.  The Carnivor was a little more fine in it's powder like characteristic.  The Truenutrition is more granulated and doesn't mix well which is pretty disgusting since when you go to drink your protein shake and you're basically chewing on undissolved beef protein clods.

Now here's my problem with both of them.  They do what they promise to deliver.  The label on both of them says that you get concentrated beef protein powder with a significantly high dose of protein per scoop.  As a matter of fact, according to this site, Muscle Meds Carnivor was actually over-dosed which means when tested the protein had 10% more protein than what is labeled.

Then what's the problem you ask?  Don't you want as much protein as you possibly can get? My answer to that is: "kind of, I guess".

Look at it from this point of view.  If you're used to the weak bitch protein powders that encompasses the world of whey protein shake mix and then you switch to a beef protein shake with a significantly higher ratio of protein per scoop, don't you think you're body's digestive system would have a problem with assimilating that more concentrated beef protein powder.

Me being the weak little bitch with a weak little bitch irritable bowel syndrome digestive system that I have, I encountered massive problems beef protein isolate.  Not only would I get the post-workout protein shits, that protein diarrhea would last for three or four days.  I couldn't even eat a Chipotle beef burrito bowl without experiencing massive diarrhea, and you know how cheap Chipotle is with their beef.

This protein diarrhea problem I had with the beef protein isolate caused me my stagnancy in my strength gains.  My logic is as follows.  You need animal protein to build muscle.  If all you're doing is crapping out your meals, you're not building muscle and hence you're not making strength gains.  

So I switched back to whey protein powder.  If that's all my weak bitch digestive system can handle, that's what I have to accept.  Again from this site, you'll see that most all of the whey protein powders tested at a severely under-dosed level of protein per 100 grams.  Besides I only use the protein shake as an intra-workout supplement.  It's only purpose is to get me through the workout.  Post-workout, I consume animal protein for recovery and muscle building.