F*ck the protein shake

All protein powders are crap.  They make me crap.  Who knows what all they put in that crap.

There’s no FDA regulation of any supplement company here in America, so the protein powder making companies can put any goddamn thing they damn well please.  They lace their supplements with oral steroids.  They cut the protein with cheaper protein powders to make you think you’re getting a better protein bang for your buck.  All in all, I hate those bastards with a passion.

What’s the solution you ask?

Just handle it like you would any other good for nothing bitch you have the unfortunate chance of meeting in your life:  kick that piece of garbage to the curb and replace it with something better.

What’s better than the supposed almighty protein shake that all those shills on youtube constantly bombard you with on a daily basis you ask?

How about the real thing smartguy is my answer to you.

What’s real protein you ask?

Real protein is beef, chicken, fish.  

You see, I haven’t been going to the gym like I like to so I do ghetto workouts in the middle of a parking lot that has a chainlink fence, cars, a couple poles with street signs attached to them.  I mostly concentrate on bodyweight exercises except when I’m trying to deadlift a car.  I got these heavy duty gloves from Walmart and I wrap them around the fence poles and concrete rebar in this parking lot, and I yank on them and do pushups and dips on them to get my workout.

Another thing I do while I’m working out is eat my pre-workout meal of steak and eggs, rice and beans.  Then while I’m working out I continue eating my steak and eggs but forgo the rice and beans.  You only need the steak and eggs to provide the body glucose without a severe insulinogenic response.  

Notice one thing.  I’m not drinking protein shake crap.  I’m eating dead cow flesh while I’m working out.  And honestly I can’t tell the difference between protein shake and steak as an intra-workout supplement.  I shove the steak in my mouth after busting out pushups and my body has no problem using that steak to repair muscles and tendons and ligaments and provide a source of glucose for energy reserve replenishment.  

So yeah, “f” the protein shakes.  “F” the protein powder making companies.  “F” those lying bastards on youtube prostituting themselves out like whores to the protein powder making companies.

Is steak more expensive than that sewer water protein shake you ask?

You bet your sweet bippy it is.  But I’ll take savory good tasting cow carcass over that crap that they shove in those tubs and market that nasty sh*t as something healthy that’s going to give you those most sought after gains.

You could always try tuna from a can or a bag of chicken for your intra-workout protein source.  They might possibly be cheaper.